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State of Dr. Fallout
Excel gets amnesia a lot. As in, almost 20% of her entire canon a lot. And she is a very impressionable derpblob of an amnesiac! One time, she spends a year with this family who practically almost treat her like a human being, and makes a friend so sweet and kind that it actually starts rubbing off on her. And even though her original self sometimes shines through (via penny-pinching, toilet cleaning, breaking Elgala's nose, etc), overall she develops into a sweet, shy nerd, pretty much not an asshole at all!
So my first point of note here is that I'm playing her in AMNESIA GAME CHALLENGE MODE. I have filled her memory registry with memories that are either a) from the aforementioned period, or b) will otherwise give her the mistaken impression that she is a good person. BECAUSE I CAN. 8)a And because it will confuse the crap out of her.
But for right now, she's still forming her own view of the world and herself. At first things seemed all right - she's naturally uncomfortable around strangers, but everyone seemed kind and welcoming (except her own team, ironically enough, where she felt humored at best and unwanted at worst). But then she had a war rooms game. On her second day. And it was just like, "okay, never mind, I see how the world works now."
This was not a major shift or huge upheaval here. The undercurrents of paranoia and cynicism run deep with this one, and "us versus them" mentality is so natural that she has essentially adopted it without question. And the kicker is, she doesn't actually even feel betrayed, despite her little temper tantrum at the time (which was pretty much just latching onto the only action she had to express her blind rage over being stabbed). She even feels a little bad about killing Winter's friend, though that's more for Winter's sake than Emerald's.
For that matter, she honestly has no scope of the longterm damage she might have caused. Right now, her outlook doesn't extend a whole lot further than her own fear and sadness and default state of absolutely zero self-esteem.
On the bright side, she is already gainingcodependence affection for her team. Glass is cool and protective; Winter is patient with her even though she doesn't really deserve it; Cash... probably doesn't hate her as much as originally surmised? She is somewhat less certain about that one.
So my first point of note here is that I'm playing her in AMNESIA GAME CHALLENGE MODE. I have filled her memory registry with memories that are either a) from the aforementioned period, or b) will otherwise give her the mistaken impression that she is a good person. BECAUSE I CAN. 8)a And because it will confuse the crap out of her.
But for right now, she's still forming her own view of the world and herself. At first things seemed all right - she's naturally uncomfortable around strangers, but everyone seemed kind and welcoming (except her own team, ironically enough, where she felt humored at best and unwanted at worst). But then she had a war rooms game. On her second day. And it was just like, "okay, never mind, I see how the world works now."
This was not a major shift or huge upheaval here. The undercurrents of paranoia and cynicism run deep with this one, and "us versus them" mentality is so natural that she has essentially adopted it without question. And the kicker is, she doesn't actually even feel betrayed, despite her little temper tantrum at the time (which was pretty much just latching onto the only action she had to express her blind rage over being stabbed). She even feels a little bad about killing Winter's friend, though that's more for Winter's sake than Emerald's.
For that matter, she honestly has no scope of the longterm damage she might have caused. Right now, her outlook doesn't extend a whole lot further than her own fear and sadness and default state of absolutely zero self-esteem.
On the bright side, she is already gaining